Dog Chow Diner

I am revisiting an idea I first wrote about several years ago. Whether I am really interested in executing the idea or simply would like to see it executed remains unclear to me. Regardless, I continue to fiddle with it, making adjustments here and there, refining it a bit more each time I spend an hour thinking about it. Here is the latest iteration. I’m getting closer, I think, to actually exploring its practicalities.

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Welcome to Dog Chow Diner! We’re not your average hot dog joint. Read on to learn how we’re different.

Whether you want to sit here and enjoy your meal or grab your dog and run, you’ve come to the right place. If you wish to eat here, just follow the signs for eat-in (Sit & Stay); if you plan to get take-out, go to the Fetch counter.

If you plan to eat here and want a nice view, take your food upstairs on our roof; enjoy your Hot Dog on a Tin Roof.

Once you order, you can sit back and relax; we’ll have your food ready in a jiffy. We’ll give you Dog Tags with a number; when we call your number, your food is ready!

Wednesday nights are special, because you’ll get 3 of the same hot dogs (e.g., 3 Akita dogs) for the price of 2, because Wednesdays are Three Dog Nights.

We’re hoping to allow you to bring your canine friends to join you for your meal on one day each week, if the health department allows it; if so, we’ll call those days our Dog Days. On those days, our customers can choose from a mixture of leftovers and kibble (we’ll call it Dog’s Breakfast) to share with their four-legged friends.

Once you’re finished with your meal, we invite you to relax in our Dog Ear Section, a little reading room where we have books, magazine, and comfy chairs for your relaxation and enjoyment.

ON-LEASH MENU

Akita Dog:
Wiener made with rice, bamboo shoots, nori, and rice wine, drizzled with a miso and lime dressing and wrapped in a big fluffy bun.

Alpha Dog:
A large link sausage on an oversized bun, stuffed to overflowing with mustard and sauerkraut.

Barking Dog:
A standard wiener, served on a standard bun with a wasabi-based sauce.

Basic Dog:
Traditional wiener in a soft white bun.

Bird Dog:
A 100% chicken wiener, served with traditional hot dog fixings.

Bull Dog:
100% angus ground beef served in a standard bun.

Chicago Dog:
Vienna beef hot dog, mustard, green relish, chopped onions, tomato slivers, sport peppers, celery salt.  on a bun with mustard, sport peppers, sprinkled with celery salt and served in a poppy-seed bun.

Chili Dog:
Wiener in a standard bun, topped with Wolf Brand chili, diced onions, and shredded cheddar cheese.

Corn Dog:
Your basic State Fair fare.

Deputy Dog:
Same as Police Dog, below.

Hair of the Dog:
A regular hot dog served with vodka-laced mustard and topped with your choice of condiments.

Not-a-Dog:
Vegetarian wiener, made with shaped tofu or paneer, served in a gluten-free hot-dog bun.

Police Dog:
A regular hot dog with a donut chaser (“sorry, officer, just kidding).”

Puppy Dog:
Kiddie-sized version of the basic hot dog; an under-sized wiener in an under-sized bun.

Rabid Dog:
Jalapeño sausage in a heavy bun that’s filled with jalapeño mustard.

Shar-Pei:
Hot dog wrapped in a very large steamed flour tortilla folded over itself so it’s wrinkled; stuffed with Chinese cabbage, Chinese mustard. 

Sheep Dog:
A lamb-based wiener served on pita bread with yogurt sauce and spices (a cousin of the Gyro).

Snarling Dog:
Traditional hot dog served with a habanero-based relish.

Soul Dog
A traditional wiener on a bun smeared with black-eyed pea paste and topped with cooked collard greens, finished with pepper vinegar.

Swimming Dog
A “pescaterian” dog, the wiener replaced by a fish fillet in a big soft bun and drizzled with tartar sauce.

OFF-LEASH MENU
(You Choose your wiener, your bun, and your toppings and condiments)

Wiener:
Choose between Vienna beef, standard dog, 100% chicken wiener, Polish sausage, jalapeño sausage, ground angus beef.

Bun:
Standard, poppy-seed, torpedo roll, pita bread, flour tortilla

Condiments:
Mayonnaise, mustard, wasabi sauce, ketchup, habanero pepper relish, yogurt, green relish, celery salt, vodka-laced mustard, tartar sauce (oh, I’ll add plenty more)

Toppings:
Tomatoes, onions, chili, sport peppers, jalapeños, shredded cheddar, kimchi, sweet pickles, dill pickles (this list will go on and on and on)