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Category Archives: Ruminations
It’s a pattern. I daydream about hitting the road for an extended period to explore new places, revisit places from my long ago past, or simply to separate myself from the day-to-day routine by which I sometimes feel confined. It’s … Continue reading
Dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life I ask myself the question over and over and over and over, hoping to one day find an answer: “Who am I, under the veneer?” It hasn’t even been a … Continue reading
I inquired of Google this morning: “What is the Mediterranean lifestyle?” The first answer I found—and the one I intend on adapting as my own—was this, from a blog entitled, The Mediterranean Dish in a post labeled Live the Mediterranean … Continue reading
This morning, as I am sometimes wont to do, I wandered aimlessly through some of my old blog posts, looking for evidence of creativity and talent. “Looking” is the wrong word. “Hoping” better describes my motive. What I found did … Continue reading
I’ve noticed recurring themes involving anger, darkness, and pessimism in both my poetry and my prose. How could I not notice them? They are so obvious as to slap me in the face, hard, when I read them. But when … Continue reading
As I read news of the cancellation, reinstatement, and subsequent cancellation of Anne Coulter’s speech at the University of California at Berkeley, I question the intelligence of the people who violently oppose the her speech. Do those people not understand … Continue reading
Sinew. That word can evoke, for me, images of sturdy steel bands, thick in the middle but narrowing almost to points on the ends; ribbons of metallic lies constrained at either end by truth. It’s as if truth confines the streamer of … Continue reading
Today, I’m using this blog as a journal. On my agenda this morning is a visit to my doctor for my annual physical, then a visit to Little Rock this afternoon with a friend. The first activity is routine. The physical … Continue reading
I’ve been awake for more than an hour and up for half an hour. And it’s only 4:30 a.m. This is not what I planned for Saturday. I planned, instead, to get up around 5:30, have a couple of cups … Continue reading
In our rush to the next event, the next activity, the next interaction, we sometimes fail to appreciate those precious moments, the moments time snatches away from us as it marches inexorably along. We fail to recognize that, perhaps, a repeat of … Continue reading
Some days, like today, I am more grateful for coffee than I ever expected to be. A cup of hot French roast coffee in my mug is my drug of choice; secret lovers, my coffee and I. Buried deep in … Continue reading
We assume things will always be as they always have been. When the rain starts, we assume the skies ultimately will clear; that’s the way it’s always been. When a war begins, we assume it will eventually end; that’s the way … Continue reading
As I glance at the “dashboard” of my blog, I notice there’s a snapshot of just a few of the categories I’ve assigned to posts I’ve written. The visible topics are: racism, rant, regret, religion, resolutions, ruminations, and science. I click … Continue reading
Today is Sunday, the very last one anyone will experience during 2015. That, in and of itself, merits special attention. But so, too, does every day, if one considers the matter in context. For example, every Monday is the very … Continue reading
Humans want to connect with other humans, to share their thoughts and wishes and dreams. And we want to be with other people, physically; we want to dine with friends and family, attend events with them, and simply be in their … Continue reading
The difference between confidence and arrogance is like the difference between belief and desire; there’s a connection, but it is distant and labyrinthine. There exists a similarity, too—and a gulf—between confidence and timidity. The appearance of timidity does not necessarily signify … Continue reading
As I sit at my desk, peering out the window into the shadowy darkness; the differences between day and night command my contemplation. On a clear day, awash in a wild spectrum of colors and contrasts, my eyes delight in seeing jagged ribbons … Continue reading
This new day is replete with opportunities to counter frustrations; I intend to seize on every single one of them.
I coax myself into believing things I want to believe. I think I see or sense emotions in another person and hope I am right; believe there’s truth in my hoped-for perception. But, when my self-deception can no longer sustain itself, I must acknowledge the stark reality … Continue reading
I started to write this morning about looking in the mirror and seeing a man I like more now than I did a few years ago. But, in the back of my mind, it occurred to me that I’ve written a number of … Continue reading
I find it almost impossible to keep silent about something I so desperately want to say. But I’m afraid the world as I know it would end if I said it. Fear, or should I say cowardice, again wins the … Continue reading
Paint your thoughts on a thin canvas with a feather dipped in graphite dust. You’ll have to explain, of course, but that will be reason enough for you to spend adequate time on the matter so you, yourself, will understand what … Continue reading
Some questions go unasked out of fear of repercussions; fear that the subtle clues that led to them were misread. Conversations that might have led to extraordinary joy, therefore, go unspoken. Yet, if the clues were indeed misread, then the justifiable fears … Continue reading
My voice, spoken through my fingers tapping on the keyboard, expresses thoughts too intimate for my tongue and my teeth to fashion into words. My virtually unknown blog allows me the freedom to express myself in ways I am unlikely to ever … Continue reading
I watched the day creep along, hobbling along like an old man with a bent and unusable walking stick, insisting it was enough to support him. He insisted he was strong enough to hobble up the hill. I shouldn’t have … Continue reading
The age of the universe is, according to theorists well-versed in such things, 13.79 billion years, give or take 21 million years. That, they theorize, is the amount of time that’s lapsed since the Big Bang. Prior to the Big … Continue reading
I am so distant from knowledge I want desperately to have; but I’m too afraid of the efforts required to get it. A case in point was, coincidentally, shown on last night’s TV. I’d love to know the intimate details … Continue reading
Admit your failings, even if solely to yourself. Only by acknowledging your flaws can you hope to begin the long and arduous task of correcting them.
There may come a time for an armed insurrection. Not there; here.
Don’t disclose, not even to yourself, what you don’t want others to know. You might ask, “What could that be?” I don’t have the answer. I know only that what you know is not knowledge in a vacuum; hear it … Continue reading
We can experiment with new personalities like we try on new clothes. If one doesn’t fit, we can shed it and try on another one. But, what if it weren’t so easy? What if we had to make a long-term commitment when … Continue reading
Worry is a symptom of an emotion, not an emotion of its own standing. Worry arises from fear and frustration, billowing like smoke from a box of damp newsprint, too wet to burn yet too hot to erupt in flames. If a problem is … Continue reading
I’ve never been more concerned about the future of the United States of America than I am now. I fear the growing popularity of Donald Trump, with his bombastic racist and nationalist diatribes and his naked Islamophobia, offers evidence that I live … Continue reading
A walk among naked trees on a cool, bright Autumn day is energizing. Listening to birds and watching them flit from tree to tree took my mind off obstacles. Shielding my eyes from the sun as I ambled along a … Continue reading
Twenty-five days until this year fizzles into history. I wish I could express joy at this fraction of a lifetime that’s ending, but when I recall the year, my eyes get cloudy and dark. I remember awful, ugly things that never … Continue reading
Routine can be comforting, but it can wreck creativity and vitality. In everything from the foods we eat to the activities in which we engage, variety is important. The key is finding that delicate balance between comfort and challenge.
In the end, nothing matters. But until then, everything matters.
The line was crossed yesterday. It should have happened before. Regardless of when it happened, or should have happened, here is the upshot: I am no longer willing to accept that I have a disagreement with people who support ready … Continue reading
A man can wrap his emotions in a steel blanket inside a stone cave of his own making, but if he does he will lose a part of himself he can’t recover. I’m only now beginning to realize the ability to emote … Continue reading
There’s never an inappropriate expression of real love. There’s never a reason to be embarrassed to love someone. Yes, we’ve created artificial boundaries that keep us from being “in love” with people we love, or at least expressing our love … Continue reading
The only means for us to end racism and bigotry is to engage in honest and thoughtful conversations, one-on-one, with people unlike us. No question arising out of honest curiosity should be off-limits, but if one party finds a question … Continue reading
A few days ago, I watched the sky change from thick to thin and go back again. That’s how I perceive the presence and absence of clouds; the sky skips between corpulent and consumptive.
This morning, for reasons beyond my ability to comprehend, I am thinking about the decomposed granite we bought to fill the spaces between the flagstones of our patio in Dallas. The flagstones were hard sandstone, the sort of stuff that … Continue reading
Tears are lubricants. They enable emotions to flow freely, expressing emotions the way they were meant to be, tumbling unimpeded from the mind into an unsuspecting world.
The desire to document one’s philosophies of life is not arrogance, in my view, though my perspective may be a creature of personal protective armor. Rather, it is the expression of a hunger to be understood. It reflects a person’s wish to collect his attitudes on life in capsule … Continue reading
Late afternoon shadows seem gentler, softer than the hard lines of dark figures against bright reflected light of the harsh morning sun. Late-day filtered light makes dim images, tired old relatives to the brash young impressions made by their morning brethren … Continue reading
Pretend everything will be fine. Believe it. Behave as if it were true. And maybe it will be true. Whether everything will be fine or not, surely it will…be. That’s the way it is.
The weight of the world is not on your shoulders; instead, it is on the shoulders of an abandoned child, seeking food and water sufficient to enable her search for sustenance to go on again tomorrow.
Give yourself permission to fail without repercussions. Be kind to yourself in failure, regardless of whether others are kind to you. Failure is an indication of determination. Multiple failures; obsession.