Breathing Fire

I want a lightweight, but heavy-duty, snow shovel.  I do not want to use it, but I want it close by in case I need it.  Yesterday, if I had that shovel in my garage, I would have used it.  I would have shoveled enormous volumes of snow and ice off my driveway.  I would have scraped ice off the streets after the snow plows came by, ripping snow and ice from the streets and spraying it along the sides of the roadway.

It’s a little late to want a snow shovel, though, isn’t it?  AFTER the snow and ice events. AFTER the most intense need for the thing.  I’d be satisfied, at the moment, with a working and fully-fueled flamethrower.  In fact, that may replace a snow shovel as my current deeply desired THING.  I could burn the damn ice and snow off my driveway and sidewalk.  I could keep it in my trunk, enabling me to vanquish uncooperative Village streets.  Hell, I could take over the streets of Hot Springs and Little Rock with the appropriate flamethrower.

Wait.  Why am I thinking small?  I want a staff of eighty people, equipped with massive snow-plows and powerful flamethrowers to patrol the streets in front of me, incinerating the ugliness that weather brings.  For that matter, they could incinerate other things, any things that endeavor to wreck or derail my happiness. Now, if I used the same power to clean the streets and help feed the hungry, that would be something.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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One Response to Breathing Fire

  1. fireaunt says:

    Sounds like you want to live farther north, where they have all those things. 😉

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