Author Archives: John Swinburn

Yesterday, a friend braved the cold and ice to visit us for the afternoon. During our conversations, she told us about hearing of a practice, taken near the beginning of each year, of selecting a single word to help guide … Continue reading →

Competitive mind-manipulation is the process to which I am subjecting myself this morning. On one face of the process, I am shocking myself more thoroughly awake by drinking an intense demitasse of expresso. The other face attempts to sooth me … Continue reading →

Twenty-five hours after completing yesterday’s blog post, I started this one. Oh, I’ve interrupted myself a few times, but here it is. The cat’s been fed, I’ve weighed myself, taken a mouthful of medications, washed some dishes, measured my blood … Continue reading →

I was reminded yesterday that black ice can challenge even big, heavy, four-wheel-drive vehicles. The truck in which I was riding lost traction (at very slow speed) and slid off the road onto a slope that led to an ice-filled … Continue reading →

Bizarre, unpleasant dreams filled part of my night, attempting to ruin what could have been some relaxing moments of sleep. That odd space between wakefulness and sleep can be brutal; on one hand, one is aware that a dream is, … Continue reading →

Yesterday was a sleep day. I slept, or tried to sleep, for most of the day. The ache that has been hounding me, off and on, for weeks decided to take up semi-permanent residence in my head. Sleeping was the … Continue reading →

The sky is blue, the air is “brisk” (5°F, feels like -9°F), and my head is pounding. My broken blog has been fixed…to some extent…but the individual posts are not viewable. The “fixes” cost me several hundred dollars, which I … Continue reading →

A friend who—rather unexpectedly—visited me in the hospital last week happened to be at church yesterday morning. We conversed briefly but did not have the chance to spend much time visiting before the service began. Because by the time the … Continue reading →

An absence from my blog feels odd to me, as if I have been incarcerated for several days as punishment for an inexcusable infringement of rules I had not realized I had so badly broken. Returning to write, even a … Continue reading →

Just minutes after confirming an appointment with a chiropractor’s office this morning (to have some work done on tight muscles in my neck and shoulders that I think may be responsible for my headaches), my oncologist’s office called to reschedule … Continue reading →

As if cancer isn’t enough, some sort of virus (or whatever) has either returned or has come out of hibernation. The symptoms: headache, chills, fever, fatigue…and perhaps a few others that do not come immediately to mind. I have been … Continue reading →

I was up early enough to spill my early morning thoughts onto the screen. Thanks to feeling unwell, though (and an obnoxiously loud, yowling cat), I was slow to follow my routine. The predictable headache is now accompanied by an … Continue reading →

Thick, grey skies. Snow showers. Rain. Slick roads. Cold winds that blow through even the heaviest coats. Tree branches draped with melting snow. Promises of icy conditions as temperatures fall later today and tonight. I believe the words drab, dingy, … Continue reading →

This published post will be number 4,560 in this blog; another 550 drafts await either my decision to revise or to delete them. Having written more than 5,000 posts for this blog, alone, I have to believe there must be … Continue reading →

My fingers continue to rest on the keyboard, awaiting instructions from my brain. They—my fingers—have waited for at least half an hour, expecting signals to flood the nerves in my hand any second. But nothing happens; as if my brain … Continue reading →

A tangled swirl of unwelcome thoughts ruins any hope for sleep and serenity. Last night, the idea of a warm flannel cocoon was appealing. This morning, resting in a tub of very hot water—which conforms to the shape of my … Continue reading →

The first day of the New Year provides a convenient milestone, a moment ideal for declaring a fresh start. Then, again, the first Thursday of every month offers the same opportunity, as does the first day of each week. When … Continue reading →

The fact that I have a fascination with Time has been privately called to my attention. I do not disagree; in fact, I would go almost as far as agreeing that my interest in Time is a shallow obsession (shallow … Continue reading →

For five years, follow-up visits with the oncologist confirmed the success of my lung cancer surgery and the chemotherapy and radiation treatment that followed. But, then, a blood test (CEA, carcinoembryonic antigen) indicated a possible return of cancer. When a … Continue reading →

Uplifting news is rarely reported “above the fold.” The role of the media is not to bring a smile to the faces of the public but, instead, to warn the public of circumstances that could endanger the public order and/or … Continue reading →

Under this tree, where light and shade Speckle the grass like a Thrush’s breast, Here, in this green and quiet place, I give myself to peace and rest. ~ W. H. Davis ~ +++ Obligations intrude into my search for … Continue reading →

The early hours, before light begins seeping into the sky, seem shorter and faster-moving than those later in the morning. Beginning around 4 a.m., time feels like it accelerates for a few hours—until at least 8 a.m. The more energy … Continue reading →

Once Christmas Day is behind us, the year feels like it is finished; even though a week remains. This calendar year’s first fifty-one weeks feel like Time captured in solid, almost indestructible granite. The impossibility of making changes to that … Continue reading →

Merry Christmas and all the other Happy Holidays to the world!  I figure if I start on a forced positive note, the positivity might carry me through the remainder of the post. We shall see. I awoke extremely late this … Continue reading →

Thanks to a yammering, yowling, obnoxious cat—as the clock reads 5:03 a.m.—I have been awake now for half an hour. For some reason, she enjoys making a loud racket in the wee hours, clawing at the area rugs, then running … Continue reading →