Virginia O’Malley got in line to buy a copy of the band’s latest album, A Christmas Musical Lexicon. The band’s concert was scheduled to begin just two hours later, but that left plenty of time to get the album and find her seat. She was not much of a fan of Christmas music, but she loved the band, Solving Riddles, and every purchaser that evening would be eligible for a drawing to win a face-to-face dinner after the concert with the lead singer, Ed Titter. After she completed the purchase, she completed the entry form given to her by the cashier and dropped it into the large cylindrical raffle drum, fashioned from heavy gold screen.
The concert lived up to her expectations and then some. She was giddy in anticipation at the end of the concert when Ed Titter rolled the barrel, opened the little door on the side of the drum, and stepped to the microphone.
Titter scanned the room as a hush fell over the crowd. When the theater was virtually silent, he began.
“You guys have been a terrific audience tonight! As promised, one of you will now join me for dinner backstage, where the facility has set out an absolutely fabulous meal for the two of us! And the winner is…Virginia O’Malley! Come on down to the stage, love, and let’s spend some time together!
Virginia screamed when she heard her name. The audience erupted into cheers and the people seated around her gave her high fives.
She felt her face flush as she rushed down the aisle to the stage. When she reached the stairs, she called up to Titter, “I’m Virginia!” Titter motioned for her to come up the stairs and reached down to take her hand.
“All righty, Virginia, let’s go back stage and enjoy our meal!”
He led her behind the rear curtain, where a small table, dressed in a white tablecloth waited. A pair of crystal wine glasses sparkled next to fine china plates and sterling silver tableware. Standing at attention next to the table was a young man in a tuxedo. When he saw her, he gestured to one of the two chairs and pulled it away from the table. She sat in the chair and the waiter helped her scoot closer to the table. Titter took the chair across from her.
“I hope you like salmon, Virginia,” he said, leaning back in his chair.
“Oh, yes, I do. But I rarely have it because it’s so expensive!”
“Well, you can have as much as you like this evening. All the members of the band will have salmon this evening, courtesy of this venue. Our manager negotiates special perquisites, including meals, with every place we play. It’s called a rider. Sometimes, we’ll negotiate to have caviar and imported French champagne after the concerts. Or we might want a liter bottle of single malt Scotch for each band member back stage upon arrival.”
Titter watched Virginia’s eyes widen as he spoke of their contracts and contract riders. He continued.
“The contract with this building calls for fifty pounds of Alaska Chinook salmon to be available to us and our guests. It’s not salmon season now, but the stuff we get is flash frozen when it’s caught and delivered directly here at the same time our tour bus arrives.”
Virginia had never heard of such a thing. She thought he might be testing her to see just how gullible she was.
“That’s hard to believe! C’mon! Do you guys really have an agreement that says you get those kinds of things? Be honest, do you have a contract that says this venue has to give you Chinook salmon?”
Titter looked directly at her, his blank face betraying no emotion. After what seemed to Virginia like at least thirty seconds, he responded.
“Yes, Virginia, there really is a salmon clause.”
[I KNOW. I JUST COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.]
ha! Surprise ending!
Excellent! You got me!